Recently, I found myself in a situation that called for an apology. The one I got surprised me. It was…perfunctory. Rushed. Delivered with downcast eyes. And totally dissatisfying.

This wasn’t a racialized moment or an interaction that had anything to do with racism. My surprise, however, was because of my racial equity work.

I’ve always been drawn to geometric order. When I see colors repeated systematically within shapes across a surface, I get a warm, soft feeling in my sternum, somewhat fluid & definitely comforting, surrounded by a deep breathy “ahhhhh”. I get the same sense of comfort from the smoothest, lowest physical effort to move my body—which also makes for speed. Do I love a low effort sequence of movements because it feels good, or because I’ve received so much reinforcement about the glory of productivity, the joy of efficiency, the beauty of a smooth running system?

Recently, I have been asking “white” coaching clients as well as caucus, circle, and workshop participants how many times a day they think about being “white”. I posed this as the Anti-Racist Action in a newsletter a few months back. Responses have been fascinating. This little research undertaking is helping me better understand how to cultivate a practice of attention to "whiteness", and the system of white supremacy culture, in all its wily ways.

The trifecta of white supremacy, capitalism and patriarchy work to keep us apart: the rich from the poor, the privileged from the disenfranchised, U.S.-born from immigrants, aggressors from victims, young from old, me from my Black neighbor.

Together, these three forces form white supremacy culture, and through this culture, we disconnect from each other.

The trifecta of white supremacy, capitalism and patriarchy work to keep us apart: the rich from the poor, the privileged from the disenfranchised, U.S.-born from immigrants, aggressors from victims, young from old, me from my Black neighbor.

Together, these three forces form white supremacy culture, and through this culture, we disconnect from each other.

I am part of a recent phenomenon: the burgeoning of white anti-racist "practitioners”. It's an imperfect label, but I like how it suggests the minute by minute practice of staying awake to the obfuscating racist structures of our culture.

You’re probably familiar with some of the risks associated with this new industry…

My writing this month is geared toward white folks, or anyone wrestling with internalized whiteness. Let’s say you’ve read a few books & listened to some great podcasts about how white supremacy culture works. You want to do something to make things more equitable, more humane, less unfair.

But what do you do?

I don't remember when I became a Stevie Wonder fan. His album Talking Book came out 50 years ago, when I was 10. His music accompanied my childhood, teen years and young adulthood. It's still part of every road trip & dance playlist I'm part of.